Keeping Quiet Through a Child's eyes

" Although you'd think that family members would be the first a survivor would turn to  for protection, understanding, and help, they are often the last. There are 3 basic reasons for this the 1st reason is our feelings of  fear. We can be affraid to talk to our family members about the abuse because our abuser  always told us to  keep it a secret ans we fear the consequence if we  do talk to them about it. Abusers use many fear tactics to keep their victims silent. I was afraid no one would believe me. I was always afraid I would be hurt even more, or that someone I cared about would be hurt. Even after my secret was our I was afraid of what my mom would think of me if she knew how the abuse was affecting me. I was afraid of  losing her m which was exactly what my stepfather had always told me would happen if I told. I was also afraid of telling her too much because I didn't want to overwhelm her and add to her own pain. Hartley was afraid that is she shared her secret, she would ruin her family's name and they would disown her." ~ Nicole Bromley from the book Breathe!
     I can relate to this 100%  As Nicole  I was scared to tell any one because my stepfather told me It was a secret and NEVER to tell any one and If  I did he would kill my mom. I beleived it because there was one fight my parents had and a gun was involved and another where he through a small glass table at her when she was  about 8 months pragnaunt. There was no dought in my mind he would do it, and I also didn't want to tell my mom because she was carring enough pain and I didnt wont to add to it and thirdly I did not want to make my family name bad, my stepfather was well known! always had the best cars best paintjobs and owned the main gasstation in my small town. This is mainly why children keep it a secret for so long.
    "I believed not only that the abuse was my fault, but also that i was my responsibility to keep my family together. I needed to talk to  this was my burden to carry. As a teenager I felt as though I had to protect my mom and that I was responsible for keeping her happy. This is too much for anyone to take on, no matter how old. I needed to talk about this with my mom and her from her that I was allowed to be a teenager and to do normal things for my age. I needed to her to tell me that I wasn't respo sible for my abuse, for holding my family together, or for her." Nicole Bromly form the book Breathe!
   Once again this was my case to the T. my mom was pregnaunt with my lil brother at the time and we where in the process of building a very nice house on the outskirts of Glacier Park. I ran away and of corse she found me... When I told her in our lil blue old cop car she was speachless I felt so good to get it off my chest I told her I had attempted suiside 2 tims and I didnt wont to be around any longer. She beleived me and we where at our lil old house  but the rest astounded me "I GOT IT UNDERCONTROLL" I was scared what was to come.
"There came a time when I held an entire bottle of pills in my hand, waiting to end my own life. I remember my hands shaking as I held them, wondering how the very thing that was supposed to help me had become my chosen means of suicide.
WHAT  LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE TO THE HUMAN EYE IS NOTHING IN THE EYES OF ALMIGHTY GOD, NO MATTER HOW AWFUL OUR CIRCUMSTANCES MAY HAVE BECOME, HE IS ALWAYS THERE TO PROVIDE US WITH A HEALTHY CIRCLE: A PLACE OF TRUTH WHERE OTHERS WILL STAND BY US AND BATTLE OUR PAIN WITH US! JUST AS HE HAS DONE WITH ME, THE LORD IS WAITING TO USE YOU IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS. REACH OUT TO THOSE AROUND YOU WITH THE SAM LOVE AND SUPPORT THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS LOOKED FOR" ~ Nicole Bromley
  I am so thankful for my husband when I read this we where 15 when we had our first child and he stuck by me this whole time and supported me! THANK U JESUS FOR SAVING ME THROUGH THIS TIME!!! Today is our 11 year anniversary and I cant wait to see how many lives we can help change  for Christ in the next 11 yrs.